Musings of an Anonymous Indian

~July 2025

My July started this year with Formula 1. I watched F1: The Movie on the first day, and started searching for information related to F1. Since then, I have watched two F1 races, became fans of almost every driver racing this year, became heart-broken over some drivers not able to perform well in the races, learnt of F1 terminology and technology, and F1 memes and all the F1 fanfiction ships.

This month was also about me becoming a cinephile as I watched five movies in the month- F1: The Movie and Superman (2025) in the movie theatres, watched Drive-Away Dolls, and re-watched Chungking Express and My Name is Emily at my home. I am saying that I became a cinephile because this year, I haven’t watched more than three movies in a month. I might have watched more than three or five months in a month, previous year or earlier in my life, but I haven’t done it in my using Letterboxd app, used to track movies watched.

I got an opportunity to give interview for a Research Associate as I mentioned in Unemployed Diaries #2. But I missed out on the interview as I didn’t see the dates of the interview on the same day I was informed. Thus, I missed out on the interview day, and I didn’t go. It was heart-breaking for me, as I wanted to give the interview. I regretted it, and that did make my whole day (the day when I got to know that I missed the day of the interview) depressing. I was down-in-dumps that day.

My brother went back to his college in third week of the month. I felt lethargy in practising for the CSIR-UGC exam. Thus, I went to give the exam without any preparation. People around me were looking into their notes before entering the exam hall centre. Their preparation and nervous energy were contagious as it also made me feel nervous.

I am still applying for bank jobs, even though I don’t feel good about them. I got date for exam next month for the position of Probationary Officer in a bank.

This month in the first half, I explored Lake Gardens, Rabindra Sarovar Lake, and Tollygunge area, which is in the south of my home city. It was when I and brother and my uncles went for the movie Superman in the theatre. After the movie and lunch, we went around the streets roaming around the areas mentioned. Walking in the garden around the lake, gave us the sights of couples, who were in conversations and in their own bubbly space. The sights of couples made me think of my ex and my relationship. I started yearning for the time when I was in coupledom, and started longing for my ex and the love that he used to shower on me. The longing and yearning made me re-watch Chungking Express.

I also went drinking on a Sunday with my uncles. My brother had gone back to college by that time. We only drank beer and it was more of a hangout session. That weekend we had plans of going out to the other part of the south of the city. But the incessant rains, the flooding due to it, and a political rally called by the state’s ruling party, made it impossible for us. We decided to only go to the restaurant in the area of our homes. So that was my July in nutshell. I am glad that I started writing again, despite the inconsistencies. I hope to be consistent, and that is something I can work on. I hope to do it as going ahead.