Musings of an Anonymous Indian

Hello readers! This is me trying to understand my internet life and how to deal with comments that are not good or there is something negative about something which I like and love.

I love Hospital Playlist series. It will be last episode which will air this week, on Thursday and I have to say goodbye to it, perhaps for the last time. There will not be a third season maybe. I am okay with this series having an open ending, this season. So, I am not really hoping for third season. This time though, as I have broadened my internet life, and have lurked into Twitter and saw the posts made about #WinterGarden or #HospitalPlaylistS2, I have encountered many twitter accounts that liked the recent season. My opinion, regardless of other people’s opinion, has been positive. I am liking the recent season, and it is good, according to me. I also found many people, as well as comments on YouTube posted in the preview videos, talking about how this season has not been good enough. Or this season is not better than season 1. And many were also talking about how this season had logically butchered some characters’ personality. I saw those type of comments till third episode to fifth episode. I was of this opinion that people have not watched the whole season, and they are already judging it, based on the few episodes released. They were also kind of judging based on the previews they showed, which are often not true enough. I definitely went on a spiral mode and wrote down my inner thoughts on why those people should see the bigger picture, and wait for it to end, and then judge it. Also, I decided then and there, that I would not give my inner cents to these comments. I have been far away from all negative comments, as well as I try to rationalise and give my answers to all those complaining comments about the season by giving my replies to them in my mind. For past few weeks, I created a habitus of people liking and loving this season. Definition of habitus according to sociology, taken from Wikipedia is below:

Habitus comprises socially ingrained habits, skills and dispositions. It is the way that individuals perceive the social world around them and react to it. These dispositions are usually shared by people with similar backgrounds (such as social class, religion, nationality, ethnicity, education and profession). The habitus is acquired through imitation (mimesis) and is the reality in which individuals are socialized, which includes their individual experience and opportunities. Thus, the habitus represents the way group culture and personal history shape the body and the mind; as a result, it shapes present social actions of an individual.

So, when I encountered a comment today regarding this season being repetitive, and not a good slice-of-life K-drama, I again spiraled. Well, not exactly spiraled as in the sense it is, but I got into thinking that why is that person not liking it, when it is a really good K-drama, and the series I have been liking so far. This K-drama managed to touch my heart, and I really liked it. I also read some of the few tweets regarding this, and it made me realise again, which I had, when I was initially into this K-drama: that not too many people will like it. It is confusing at the start, it has too “perfect” characters, it is too utopian, not to be considered reality- these were some of the reviews and comments I got about this K-drama, and I agree to it. I know that it has “perfect” characters, according to people, but according to me, it does not have “perfect” characters; it just has ideal characters, which we all strive to be, or want to be, with their own charming flaws. Obviously those tweets also made me realise that not many people are like me, who like this type of K-drama. It might be a slice-of-life, but it might not be exactly slice-of-life. It is also in medical genre, so this could also be not for some people. I forgot that there are diverse people in this world who might not like and love what I like and love. So, after much mulling about this things, I realised that I must come out of my Hospital Playlist loving habitus for a while. But then, that does not mean that I will stop loving this K-drama, just because someone said that the writer of this K-drama did not deal with female characters properly, or this K-drama is not a good slice-of-life, That is their opinion, their choice and their right to say.

I personally felt offended as to why this person did not like the K-drama, and that made me think and overthink a lot. Also, I don’t personally deal with negative criticisms in a good way, whether those criticisms are for myself or anything I hold dear. So, me being offended and spiraling now more than previous time, made me wonder, as to whether I have been in that habitus for a long time. It also made me think as to why I started liking this K-drama, and started to root for. After all that, I thought of writing this.

I realised that, we cannot be fully aware of our own senses as to what we are doing, when we are rooting for a K-drama, or liking anything for that matter. I have always watched out for reviews and other things regarding my favourite shows or movies, so that I can get to know more about the movies and shows that perhaps I might have missed. I often want to gather others’ thoughts on my favourites, and in doing that, I often miss out on what made me like it. Or what made me not like it. If I am made to write reviews, I could write it in an objective point of view, but I would definitely miss the mark of doing that, because I would then gush out to write a lot of of things that will be too subjective. Meaning, that I would start writing in my own point of view as to what I liked about anything. According to me, reviews are supposed to be objective; as to say that what any book, or a movie, or a show is about, and what would be liked by what type of people. I have tried to do that; sometimes I do well, sometimes I do badly.

I have realised that people will have those internal biases as to what constitute of this world. Me liking this K-drama is about that only. My internal bias is of thinking good about everyone, at the same time being suspicious of people. Having a set of experiences, and having my own set of values as to how things should be, I liked this K-drama. So, thinking upon those lines only, I realised while overthinking, that perhaps the person (and other people) might have their own set of values, have their own set of choices and likes and dislikes, and have their own understanding of how a good female character could be written, or a character could be written. Also, that person (and other people) could have their own set of experiences, and that give them their own set of internal biases. That does colour people, and make them like or dislike certain things. Like me. I dislike certain things, and I like certain things. So, all that thinking, as well as me writing this, has made me calm down a little bit. Hospital Playlist cannot make many people like it. I think it is okay for them to have different thoughts on it. But then, I think I will not be reading those for now, just for my mental health’s sake. I might read them when I myself will be able to judge it objectively, and would be able to think negatively about it first, and then to allow others’ negative comments and tweets to enter my mind.

So, this is how I deal with negative comments about my favourites’ or about myself. I think and overthink, and I rationalise about it. I spend a great deal of my mind thinking about my immediate reactions to them as well, as well as about those comments and tweets, whether they were correct or not, objectively. Then I come to my own realisation, and mull over what I am thinking and what I am feeling about my favourite. Also, if anyone has commented negatively about me, or about anything that I have done, I try to think about it rationally. So, after thinking rationally about those comments, I write about them, or I try to rationalise my thinking about it, so that I don’t do any stupid things over a negative comment. I mull over my actions and works or things, if the comments are about me and my creations. So, overall, I overthink a lot about them, and I definitely spiral into my thoughts. Thinking about why I like a certain thing also help, so that I can compartmentalise as to what I like about them, so that I don’t become hurt immediately when my favourites’ are being attacked or given negative criticism. Nothing new for me, might be also not new for the readers as well.

I hope you all are doing well at this time. For me, Hospital Playlist series has been a good and hopeful series, which managed to give me some of the life lessons in humorous way. It has been a hopeful series for me, so when I see negative comments about it, I initially get triggered. But then, I have tried to see the objectivity of everything, and I am trying to be as hopeful as ever. I am in general a realist, and in my bad days a pessimist, but I do like being optimist on my good days. The bad days are gone, so people might become snarky, and I might become one as well. This is me trying not to become snarky, because I know that the world is having so many problems, and we would all like to have some sort of goodness. This is me trying to be good, as well as considerate about others, because sometimes, it is these small bits of kindness that manages to bring joy to other people. I am trying to be responsible for my own happiness, as well as satisfaction, and I am trying to become a good human being, despite me knowing that I am practically a human being that cannot be a perfect human being. Sorry, for this kind of talk. And also, take care people! Peace out!